Giving

So I've been thinking lately about giving and it seems the more I think, the more questions I end up with. So I think I'll just wite for a bit and share some of my thoughts and the questions I have been left with and if you feel inspired after reading it, you can comment and tell me what you think. Maybe you can answer my questions. That'd be awesome. Maybe you just quit reading this because I have already bored you - who knows.But if you are still reading this, I'll try not to bore you with the rest.

As I said I've been thinking about giving and what it is. I know you are probably thinking I am a moron because giving really isn't that hard to define. Simply put it is when you give something. It could be time, money, emotions, etc. We all give. It is impossible to live and not give. Some give more, some give less. Some give generously with their time while others give generously with their money. But we all give.

But why do we give? For many of us we see a need and we want to do our part to help. We sponsor a child through World Vision, we teach Sunday School at our church, we tithe, we give a burger to the homeless guy on the corner, whatever it is we give, we give to help.

Or do we? Do we really give because our goal is to help or is that simply what we tell ourselves so we can feel better? When I give the homeless guy a #5 value meal from Burger King is my goal really to help or is my true goal simply to do something so I can tell myself I helped and did my part. Did that meal really help him? Is he really in need of a burger and fries or does he have a deeper, bigger need? And if he has a deeper, bigger need why do I not try to help meet that need? Could it be that any attempt to meet his real need would take more than I am willing to give? So the burger and fries are my way of telling myself I did something good and allowing me to feel good about myself while ignoring the fact that I am not willing to really take the time and effort to truly help.

This thinking led me to the word sacrifice. Now sacrifice is a much bigger word than giving. Sacrifice carries a bigger cost to us. The burger and fries was giving. But what would it look like if I were willing to sacrifice? Dictionary.com defines sacrifice as "the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim."That is a big, powerful word. Jesus sacrificed for me. He considered the restoration of our relationship to have a higher or more pressing claim than His equality with God. That is sacrifice.

Two songs I have been listening to lately have caused me to think even more. My Jesus by Todd Agnew has a line that says "I want to be like my Jesus, but I'm not sure what that means. To be like you Jesus. Cause you said to live like you love like you, and then you died for me" And the song The Motions by Matthew West says "I don't want to spend my whole life asking, what if I had given everything instead of going through the motions."But what does that mean to give everything? To love like Jesus? That takes way more than simply giving. That takes sacrifice. And I think my problem is that I am willing to give, but I am not willing to sacrifice and even if I were willing to sacrifice where does it stop? I mean I could sacrifice everything I have and every minute of every day to help, but there would still be more problems than my money or my time could solve. So does sacrfice mean living in a tiny run down house and eating PB & J everyday or is it less extreme than that? And if it is less extreme than that then where is the line? When can I say I have sacrificed enough and I can enjoy some of my time and money? When can I say "I know this $10 could be spent to buy a net to prevent malaria and save a child's life but tonight this movie is more important than a child I don't know, in a country I know nothing about?" Or what about saying "I know the homeless shelter needs help on Saturdays, but today is me time"? Or when can I say "I know this $60 could sponsor two more kids but it is more important that I get 300 channels to choose from in all digital format"? Something about that doesn't sit well with me, but it doesn't stop. I can ask that about every dollar I spend and about every minute of time I spend doing meaningless stuff.

So I'm not really sure where that line is or if there really is a line. Maybe it is different for everyone and maybe where the line is isn't even the right question. Maybe when you start living a life of sacrifice, you just know. But what I do know is I have become good at giving, but poor at sacrificing and I think loving like Jesus is a love that sacrifices.

I was watching Extreme Home Makeover the other night and they were talking to the woman whose house they were rebuilding. Her husband had died shortly after buying a fixer upper of a house and now that house was falling down around her and was a wreck. She was left to raise her kids on a teacher's salary so you can guess they were just barely getting by. One thing really struck me though. She was sleeping on her couch and when they asked her why she was on her couch she said she had a waterbed but the neighbor down the road had a mattress that popped so she gave her her mattress. So now she sleeps on the couch.That's sacrifice! I thought about what I would have done. Maybe I would have tried to give some money to help buy a new mattress, maybe I would have even asked people I know to go together and buy a new mattress but giving up mine and sleeping on the couch? Not a chance.

I would have given. The lady on the show sacrificed. The lady on the show, Christian or not, loved like Jesus. How about you?